There seems to be a time between seasons that is ugly. As the trees have lost all their color we know that Autumn is gone. Yet all we see is brown and gray, and all we feel is the empty seasonlessness on the skin. The air is too warm to feel winter, and too cold to see spring on the horizon.

I used to get quite homesick as a child. My world was centered around the predictable order of my home and family. To leave that home left me with an empty and lost feeling. No matter how enjoyable the outside world was, I could think of nothing else than wanting to return to my home and to things familiar. I have similar feelings between seasons. It is as the fallen leaves of autumn lay on the forest floor empty of color, I ache to return to the familiarity of fall, or to move on to the predictability of winter.

We all desire order and predictability in some way or another. We hate waiting for God to move in the midst of placelessness; Sitting leaves us vulnerable and helpless. But as the the oak faithfully sits bare in the late autumn knowing that he will be carried through another season, we need also to quiet and still ourselves and allow God to do the moving and speaking, even during times of unpredictability and order.

As you hovered over the chaotic waters at the beginning,

hover over the placelessness of my soul.

When I feel homesick for direction and order,open the buds you desire in me.
Be present to me great choreographer of time, even between the seasons.